Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't think brook has ever known best
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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