All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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