can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
