You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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