it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
