Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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