Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
