so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize