I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
