Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
