There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
