jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My feet surprised me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
