Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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