I'm so fucking centered right now
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize