i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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