Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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