I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
