Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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