On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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