So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
