Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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