thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
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She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
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The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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