he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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