I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
