my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
