am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it's like iHOP with fire
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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