lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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