Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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