I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
