distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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