Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
