I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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