God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
