He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
