ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
