Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm really busy with my period
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