I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am mentally ready for anal.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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