I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
