Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize