he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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