And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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