let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
