I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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