We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm having to shit out rocks
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