Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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