I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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