the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
