Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just invented taco cereal.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
