You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
