I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
