Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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