i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
