she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
