I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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