when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
