walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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