Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let's get the cat blown out
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize