oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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