I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
