This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
