Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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