watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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