I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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