Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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